En:DUR:ance (noun) — the power to withstand pain or hardships; the ability or strength to continue despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions.

I’m a deliberate writer. It’s complicated being multilingual. Five languages. Not to sound whiny or something, but, each sentence is potentially embedded with grammatical explosives. Maybe it’s this one. Or this one. Or the next one. I write something, and in that moment I beamingly admire it’s alleged linguistic splendor. Then I re-read it, cringing at my hideous clunky, boorish, abominable construction. Revising, editing, revising, editing.

To what end this humbling chore? A mirror reflecting imperfection. Ineptitude. Incompetence. Ignorance.

Why, when time-demands fight tooth and nail for every last shred of my battered schedule, try to persist?

Stubbornly, I wrestled alone with this question for weeks. Each time I resolved to ditch the blog, something pulled me back. Finally, I asked a friend.

“Honey, I may be quitting the blog. It’s too much.”

“Yeah. But I know you won’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not a quitter.”

He’s right. The truth is, I love words. And word-crafting, perhaps because of my lack of instinctive skill, is a labor of love. I’m not a natural born racer. With driving, I’m playing the long game, and I’ve progressed. As a five-year old who struggled to master the doggie-paddle, I’ve grown into an adult who physically craves a swim. The lesson here is that nothing is static. Although I fumble around to find words and phrases, it has become easier with practice. Perhaps I won’t always be so short of time.

I’m busy and I’m behind on the blog. My notes will likely be brief, less frequent, or even more clumsy, stumbling or inelegant. But not forever. Reminder to myself: I’m in it for the long haul. There may be some changes ahead. Please don’t hesitate to share your feedback. Remember, YOU are a very important part of this story. And, as you know, “Plus ca change, plus ca reste la meme.”

Happy 2016!